i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
