I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i love accidental penises.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
