Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
