Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
