Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
