Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize