I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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