i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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