btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I party with great urgency now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
