That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
