I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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