I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize