im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
