Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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