Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
