WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
