It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
