We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
