Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
