I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
