you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
