I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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