Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
