Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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