Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
