Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
