Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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