i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
