Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
