WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
