Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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