That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
