Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
