So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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