Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He felt like a one man threesome
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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