new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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