i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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