We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Randomize
