i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
