He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize