no, he came in my armpit
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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