Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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