I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
