I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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