Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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