My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
