you guys were way drunker than both of me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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