His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize