I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
