I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
