ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
