Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
