this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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