How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
