on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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