I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
