i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think my tv is drunk
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
