Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize