So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
