i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
