just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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