After last night, I could never be a politician.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
