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I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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